And maybe it's because my current relationship has actually lasted longer than two weeks (I wouldn't be surprised if our friends had a betting pool going) so it won't seem completely insensitive to blog about it, or maybe it's because I feel convicted enough in my research to let the judgment fly, but either way, let's talk about breaking hearts.Carrie Bradshaw told us that there is a good way to break up with somebody.The quarter-life crisis is definitely a thing, and everyone should be allowed some exploration.But if he doesn't have an urge to figure out and then achieve his goals, his lack of motivation could easily torpedo the relationship.In casual relationships, we stop answering text messages or provide short, uninterested answers. I've since realized that sure, I don't like hurting people, but what's really happening is that I don't like guilt and anxiety and conflict, so I ignore or avoid the "problem" to gain the illusion that "it's" (they've) gone away And the reality is that they might go away, but they do so wondering what the heck just happened (and sometimes send a string of angry text messages). So before I offer some tips on breaking up with someone, I want to qualify this. I've had my heart smashed to bits twice, and I'm pretty sure I've smashed a couple.
In reality, he should think it's awesome that you have interests other than him.This is why I chose to do my masters research in the area. In the form of more serious, long term relationships, we avoid "the talk." We silently remove ourselves from the relationship emotionally.(Ironically, when I was writing the final chapter of my thesis, I got harshly dumped. )Anyway, ending a relationship — whether it be a casual one or a marriage — is thick with anxiety, guilt, and conflict. We have unenthusiastic sex (or no sex) then lie awake next to them for the remainder of the night. I used to say "I just don't like hurting people." I would then phase people out accordingly or slowly distance myself from them emotionally, which was easier on my conscience but far harder on my exes.Otherwise, they're generally not worth your time. The problem is when one person is turned on by things that make the other viscerally uncomfortable.It's normal to be sexually incompatible with people, and it doesn't mean either of you is in the wrong—deciding to go your separate ways is actually pretty mature.I've felt apprehensive about writing on this topic and have thus avoided it for a while.